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Lets say your driving along, in your new Mustang! You park in the parking lot of your favorite restaurant. Go in, get your favorite dish. After a tasty meal, AND…DUHN DUHN. YOUR F*”‘ing car is gone. You call the cops (Or po po is i like to call them.) they find the guy who stole your car. Then the po po arests you, and the theif. Now if you think thats stupid, thats the SAME logic EA uses for C&C3.

If someone DC s (Disconnects), not only does tie get a DC on his record. But you do too! ! need you guys to help me understand this logic PLEASE, Now im sure ANYTH!NG against EA. Is like a no no because EA is probaly like the Mafia to you guys they might try to buy out your magazine, or somthing. Kinda like poor old Westwood, who got bought out by EA.

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

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The line “Before the reign of baklava, Leonidas dined on Xerxes” is about as historically accurate as George Washington skipping a silver dollar across the Potomac. And I thought you actually had to have a degree to work for your mag. Baklava is a Turkish dish. It has about as much to do with Greece as Nancy Pelosi [does with] supporting the U.S. troops. White the Greeks have tried to claim it as their own, along with many other things, it is pretty well documented that baklava is Turkish.