Everybody on television is all concerned about swine flu or pig flu or whatever they’re calling it at the moment.

I’m very extremely worried myself. I’ve compiled a list of warning signs that will help you determine if you have the swine flu or if you may be coming down with the swine flu.

1. Itchy Bottom: if your bottom (hiney) itches it may not be hemorrhoids. It may be your skin reacting negatively to the growth of a new, curly tail.

2. New Curly Tail: enough said.

3. Pink: if your skin is suddenly turning pink and it has never been pink, think flu.

4. Pug Nosedness: be careful to examine your nose daily. The transformation of your common human nose to a pig-like nose may be a first warning sign.

5. Affinity for Slop: if you are beginning to have an urge to roll around in mud and eat nasty leftovers from McDonald’s that you find in the floorboard of your vehicle, seek medical help.

(далее…)


Tags: , , —